THE STORY OF EASTER (As best I can remember)
On a dark and stormy Friday, way back in the year 1492, a young lad by the name of Jesus Marvin Christ was preparing for his execution. He was to be hung on a crucifix until the life drained from his body.
Don’t worry, things get happier… right after the whipping part. And the part where they mock him and give him a crown of thorns. And the part where he had to carry his cross up a big hill. And the part where they gave him putrid wine and Jesus was like, “nah, I don’t drink.” Then there was the part where they jabbed him with a spear. And of course there was the whole dying thing.
They called this day “Good Friday” …because of course they did.
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YOU’LL LAUGH, I PROMISE!